Some social behaviors of some children can be very challenging and tough to deal with, day to day. Every year, teachers get a new group, new challenges and new experiences. And, that is what makes my job filled with excitement- both good and bad.
What I realize is that nurturing a child is not possible by one person, it requires the whole family, friends, teachers and circle of trustworthy people around. And, this is what I keep telling my co-workers at school - communicate, communicate and more communication ! Well, yes, if everything is going good with your child then you have different prospects, life is easy and you are very lucky !
It is tough when your child gets easily excited and challenged by other children in the classroom or in a friend circle. Montessori philosophy defines the relation between a child and the environment as sensitive periods. It is a series of stages that a child goes through from birth to 6 years.
See, during 3-6 years child is sensitive to the behaviors of adult. They want to do whatever adults do. So, most of the challenging social behaviors we deal with children are coming from adults. Well, the tough question is where do they see all that hitting, kicking, shouting and using bad words when parents don't do any of those things ! Could be anything? Our plan of action should be instead of wondering where the behavior is learned, we should concentrate on how to stop this behavior in a child. Few steps to make the tough easy-
First step -
Communicate expectations with a pinch of love. Tell the child that you love him/her when you are mad at him/her. Be absolutely firm and strong in drawing your expectations to your child, but please, do not forget to tell your child how much you love him/her in between. Try hard to throw your anger away and reach out to your child with your arms wide opened, with your mouth full of soft spoken words of expectations. Children are smart, they see through you, they see your love and your anger at the same time.
Second step -
Create various activities. You know your child the best. Keep your child focused with different activities, sport or music !
Third step -
Take help. Reach out to people who may know better than you, who are more experienced. Teachers, friends and family and even a simple stranger like a librarian at your library will give you few tips !
Fourth step -
Be in love. No matter how frustrating things are at your work, your personal life or at your social circle, do not loose faith in love. Let your eyes speak love. Let your child see that deep down you believe in love and that he/she is a part of it.
Fifth step -
Patience.
Cheers ! Stay happy :)
What I realize is that nurturing a child is not possible by one person, it requires the whole family, friends, teachers and circle of trustworthy people around. And, this is what I keep telling my co-workers at school - communicate, communicate and more communication ! Well, yes, if everything is going good with your child then you have different prospects, life is easy and you are very lucky !
It is tough when your child gets easily excited and challenged by other children in the classroom or in a friend circle. Montessori philosophy defines the relation between a child and the environment as sensitive periods. It is a series of stages that a child goes through from birth to 6 years.
| Age | Sensitivity | |||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Birth to 6 years | The absorbent mind: the mind soaks up information like a sponge. Sensory learning and experiences: the child uses all five senses - touch, taste, smell, sight, and hearing - to understand and absorb information about his or her environment. | |||||||||
| 1.5 to 3 years | Language explosion: a child builds his or her future foundation for language. | |||||||||
| 1.5 to 4 years | Development and coordination of fine and large muscle skills, advanced developing grasp and release skill spawns an interest in any small object. | |||||||||
| 2 to 4 years | Very mobile with greater coordination and refinement of movement, increased interest in language and communication (they enjoy telling stories), aware of spatial relationships, matching, sequence and order of objects. | |||||||||
| 2.5 to 6 years | Works well incorporating all five senses for learning and adapting to environment. | |||||||||
| 3 to 6 years | Interest in and admiration of the adult world: they want to copy and mimic adults, such as parents and teachers. | |||||||||
| 4 to 5 years | Using one’s hands and fingers in cutting, writing and art. Their tactile senses are very developed and acute. | |||||||||
| 4.5 to 6 years | Reading and math readiness, and, eventually, reading and math skills. |
See, during 3-6 years child is sensitive to the behaviors of adult. They want to do whatever adults do. So, most of the challenging social behaviors we deal with children are coming from adults. Well, the tough question is where do they see all that hitting, kicking, shouting and using bad words when parents don't do any of those things ! Could be anything? Our plan of action should be instead of wondering where the behavior is learned, we should concentrate on how to stop this behavior in a child. Few steps to make the tough easy-
First step -
Communicate expectations with a pinch of love. Tell the child that you love him/her when you are mad at him/her. Be absolutely firm and strong in drawing your expectations to your child, but please, do not forget to tell your child how much you love him/her in between. Try hard to throw your anger away and reach out to your child with your arms wide opened, with your mouth full of soft spoken words of expectations. Children are smart, they see through you, they see your love and your anger at the same time.
Second step -
Create various activities. You know your child the best. Keep your child focused with different activities, sport or music !
Third step -
Take help. Reach out to people who may know better than you, who are more experienced. Teachers, friends and family and even a simple stranger like a librarian at your library will give you few tips !
Fourth step -
Be in love. No matter how frustrating things are at your work, your personal life or at your social circle, do not loose faith in love. Let your eyes speak love. Let your child see that deep down you believe in love and that he/she is a part of it.
Fifth step -
Patience.
Cheers ! Stay happy :)
